As much as I don’t want to, let’s talk about Dr. Laura Schlessinger and her recent racially-charged tirade. If you haven’t heard, a black listener called into her nationally-syndicated talk show seeking advice on how to deal with the racist comments that some of her white husband’s friends used around and towards her. The esteemed “doctor” basically told the woman to stop being so sensitive because all the black comics on HBO use the N-word.
*Okay, for the sake artistic integrity, I will no longer use “the N-word”.
What she really said was that if you turn on HBO you hear all the black comics screaming, “Nigger, nigger, nigger.” Yeah, she said it. She didn’t say the N-word; she said nigger. When the caller expressed her shock and discomfort, the good doctor spewed the word about eight more times and intimated that because of her hyper-sensitivity, maybe she shouldn’t have married outside her race.
Hmmm…so many questions.
1) Why the hell was this woman calling Dr. Laura for advice of that nature? Does she not have any friends or family members that she can talk to about this?
2) What’s up with her husband? According to her, he just allows this sort of conversation to take place. Why are his friends so comfortable saying it in front of him? He must use the same language when she’s not around.
3) Why are we surprised that someone white says the word nigger? Come on, now. Is it really that shocking? Kramer said it!
4) And I guess the biggest question is: Is it really that big of a deal? This whole controversy has rekindled the vaunted “N-word” debate, and has everyone from Uncle Al Sharpton to the NAACP calling for her head.
Depending on who you ask, you’ll get a myriad of different response to that question.
Some people believe that the word carries such a history of degradation and belittlement that any use of the word should be stricken from the English lexicon. Others believe that by owning the word, this generation has grasped the power from the oppressors and has erased any pain it can cause. And still others could care less about any historical context and probably don’t know what the words ‘historical’ or ‘context’ mean.
You also have the nigger versus nigga conundrum.
My personal definitions:
Nigger: a derogatory term used to describe people of African descent. Usually used by racist or prejudiced persons, i.e. KKK, Guys driving monster trucks, or idiots commenting on YouTube videos.
Nigga/nigguh: 1) a term of endearment used primarily by blacks (in some case Hispanics) to each other. 2) a term that can be found an average of 12,419 times on each Rap/Hip-Hop CD.
I have been called variations of the word countless times in my life, sometimes by those I love and sometimes by those not so affectionate. When I was around six, my family and I were fishing from a bridge in a rather affluent neighborhood. Some guys pulled up behind me, pelted me eggs, and shouted “nigger go home!”
Recently, a childhood friend I hadn’t seen in a while greeted me with a hug and a “my nigga!”
Totally different circumstances but I completely understood what each one was. I’m sure the guys throwing eggs at me weren’t doing so out of love, and I know my boy from back in the day isn’t going to lynch me anytime soon.
It’s pretty easy to tell the difference.
At one time, the NAACP held a ceremonial funeral for the Nigger. In the light of Dr. Laura’s comments, a politician in Hawaii wants to add a bill that outlaws the word. I think these are complete wastes of time. If anything needs to be exterminated, it’s the mentality of inferiority that some carry with that word. No word can encompass the complexity of a people, so STOP letting this one define you.
The funny thing is that an art form that was created by black people has played an enormous part in how “we” view the word. It is used so freely in hip-hop that you would think it is the first name of choice in the black community. “I want you to meet my son, MyNig’a Jefferson.”
I recall, in my college days, being out with some friends of the lighter complexion. I would always laugh when the DJ played a song that my friends new. They would be rapping every word of the song until there was a nigger lurking in the lyrics to come. When that nigger approached, they would take a sip of their Goldschlager, suddenly forget the words, or just look at me and do some crazy thing with their heads.
“Ain’t nuthin but a G-thang baaaabay! Two loc’ed out [insert inaudible grunt or spastic head wiggle here] going craaaaazay!”
Did I think that they would have simply said it if I wasn’t around? Yes.
Did I think that made them racist? Not at all.
My biggest question is: Why do white people want to say "nigger" so badly?
The argument that is often heard, and that was used by Schlessinger, is that it’s so confusing when black people use it and don’t want non-blacks to use it. “You can’t have it both ways,” they shout. They seem so offended and heartbroken about not being able to use the word…in public. Yes, in public. I’m a firm believer that under the right circumstances, your best buddy at work drops an N-bomb with his friends ,when his favorite Lil’ Wayne or Young Jeezy song comes on, or if a black guy cuts them off in traffic.
Why isn’t there a clamoring by blacks for the right to denigrate Hispanics or Jews? Or since I hear some women referring to each other as bitches, should I not be allowed to the same?
Think about it.
And sure; there is a double-standard. Even if it is being said out of affection, there is just something wrong with a non-black person saying it. That's just life. I have a nickname that only my family calls me. I ask them not to refer to me by the name in mixed company. And if someone outside my circle hears the name and feels it’s cool to say it, I quickly correct them. They don’t throw a fit and protest. They accept it, call me Darius, and move on.
Question for you: How many times have you, yes even you, the most liberal, loving, all-accepting, Buddhist philosophy following, We Are the World singing person out there, how many times have you blurted a racially, ethnically, sexually, or socially offensive term in a moment of rage or fear?
I’m just asking.
3 comments:
Rarely do I say offensive terms out of rage, however, I am guilty of having used terms that may be considered derogatory. Although I go through these phases of trying not to use the word nigga (because I don't say nigger), I find myself still saying it occassionally and not feeling as though I have offended anyone. The reason I feel slightly uncomfortable is because I think of the historical origin of the word and how it was used to totally insult a beautiful race of people and I question myself wondering why I would then turn around and use it too. Am I offending my people? Am I insulting myself?
Being a word creator, I believe in the power of making words, creating meanings, and changing the meanings of words which already exist. In this case, thats what we have done. It's just weird how it all happened.
Honestly, I have used the word "cracker" to refer to white people in the past. I know that everytime I have done it, I don't have my white friends in mind, nor do I use it blanketly. I usually find myself using it when a white person makes me feel or attempts to make me feel like a slave in the field being whipped or degraded in some way. And I can imagine myself rationalizing the use of the word because "they" used it so often to describe us. So in a way, its only fair. Not saying two wrongs make a right, but...
@ Jess - So, do you think that since it's used so freely, everyone has free reign to use it?
This debate is always interesting (and often ridiculous) to me. The Dr. Laura incident is quite funny. It is almost like the caller wanted something crazy to happen. Like you asked in your first question, why would a black woman call a white women (not close to her situation) and ask her a question of that nature? I also agree that if her husband has not put a stop to this, he must use this language when out of his wife's earshot.
I'm not surprised that a white person said the word (nor do I care). What does continue to surprise me is that when white people do say it (specifically those in the public eye), they seem to be confused or unaware of the ensuing shit-storm that is sure to follow.
I feel the use of the word by blacks is a bit overkill, but I use the word myself, so...
Do I think that other races should not use the word? Well, using the word nigger, I feel, is derogatory, and is seemingly said only to belittle and demean. In that case, whether black, white. green, orange, yellow, or purple, I don't think anyone should use it.
How do I feel about other races using the word nigga? SINGING A RAP SONG - it's in the lyrics, so why not; blacks would say crackah/EYEtalian/Oy yea/Migos, heterosexuals would say dikes, people in general say bitches/hoes. Isn't that the same thing? AS A FORM OF GREETING/TERM OF ENDEARMENT - (Most) blacks understand that you don't greet EVERY black person that way; if it is truly a term of endearment then the person using it (no matter the race) and the person they are greeting/speaking to have that understanding and I don't have a problem with that.
I have had experiences where my comrades of another persuasion did the whole "forget the lyrics" thing during songs. And like you, I believe they would say it when not in my presence. Of course that does not qualify them as racist. Little did they know, it didn't matter to me, I don't care that much.
I have also been jogging in my neighborhood and a coward-ass muhfucka speeding by in a truck hollered out "Nigger!" to me and other black pedestrians he passed down the street(I was trying to keep my eye on him so I could bust his damn windows out when I caught up with him. But, the road was curvy, so he disappeared.)
I feel I am one of those "loving, all-accepting, Buddhist philosophy freaks (I mean followers)" types and I have used all of the derogatory terms. I have never made it a habit to use them negatively (I cannot say that I have never used them in that manner), but I use them as terms of endearment (whether or not I am in the presence of the person in question). I don't refer to lesbians as dikes, but I know which ones won't take offense to it when I do. I don't refer white people as crackahs, but I know who will give it to me just as good as she gets it. I don't refer to my female friends as bitches. But those bitches know the affection I have for them when I say it.
How you feel about your family name being said by outsiders is how I feel the N-word (and other not-so-flattering terms) is reserved for the family. But, I see family as family, not all-inclusive of or restricted to my race.
One thing is for sure: I don't assume (or at least I try not to) or take for granted that any of these terms are ok for me to use all willy nilly. I just want to be happy, live, love, and enjoy life, and I don't want to prevent others from doing/feeling the same.
SN: I feel you on the average of 12,419 per CD. And I think I taught a child named MyNig'a...for real...
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