Daddy Dearest!

If you haven’t heard yet, the daughter of acclaimed stage, film, and television actor Laurence Fishburne is now a porn star. Yep, that’s right. I wonder what the black light he uses on CSI would find on that set. Montana “Chippy-D” Fishburne feels that the best way for her to attain stardom is to use the Kim Kardashian model of fame.

I can imagine Dr. Larabee from Akeelah and the Bee saying, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is popping in a DVD and seeing your baby girl being double-penetrated.” Okay, I’ll stop. But I have a million of ‘em. I have one about Ike Turner and “eating the cake” and a few more about Morpheus and red and blue pills. But I digress.

Unlike Kardashian, though, this isn’t an “oops, my sex-tape was intentionally released by mistake” moment. Little Morpheus signed up for this. There was lighting, multiple cameras, and probably some Danishes and orange juice to keep the energy levels up.

Listen, I’m not knocking the porn industry. If I think back, I may recall seeing a snippet or two of some adult film long ago, during my immature stage. If you are a stable-minded adult, then who am I to say that you shouldn’t get paid for faking orgasms? But I’m sure Heather Hunter, Jenna Jameson, and Ron Jeremy aren’t looking for an Academy Award anytime soon.

This whole situation got me thinking hard; no pun intended. How does a 19-year old daughter of a famous, wealthy actor decide to become a porn star? There must be a lot of things going on for her to come to this point. Yeah, she’s still young, so ignorance is probably the biggest factor. Hell, at 19, I was a sophomore in college. Nuff said.

But what is the mindset of someone who aspires to be a porn star? Well, it’s not too hard to imagine a guy wanting to have sex with as many women as they possibly can, but most women are different. And I don’t have the statistics of everyone in the industry, but I’m sure you’d be hard pressed to find a “performer” with an Oscar-nominated and Tony and Emmy-award winning father.

There’s a clip of her sitting in a restaurant with her producer/director/co-star, Brian Pumper, who I incidentally met once, at a Denny’s in L.A. During the interview, she didn’t say much, but when she did, she seemed aloof and very much a confused, teenage girl. I couldn’t help but wonder if she even realized where she was. She talked about being nervous as a “first-timer” but eased by the fact that she has “a lot of at home experience.”

So, my question is this: Who/What is to blame?
Do we blame the parents’ divorce when she was yet a toddler?
Do we blame Larry’s lifestyle that may have led him to be an absent father?
Do we blame the parasitic media that turns the star of a home video with a below average R & B singer that everyone had forgotten about, into an international celebrity?

As a teenager, she’s seen Kim Kardashian become a star, an elderly man living in a house with three girlfriends, and Karrine “Superhead” Steffans write multiple New York Times best-selling books detailing how she got her name. So, of course SEX=STARDOM. Damn, why the hell am I writing this blog, then?

How do parents fight against this bombardment of negativity?

My granddad would say, “The Bible says, train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

I would say, “Grandaddy, they didn’t have Facebook and Jersey Shore back in Jesus’ day.”

So, what’ the moral of this story? Don’t allow your kids to watch TV or go on the Internet or they may end up in movies on the shelves of stores with dark windows.

Just a couple of decades ago, parents didn’t want their kids to be Hippies. Then, they were afraid they might become “artists” and not have real jobs and stable incomes. I’m sure the Fishburne family would love for Montana to be a tie-dyed aspiring sculptor.

I guess Montana was right, though. No one knew her before this, now she has a name: Chippy-D. I’m sure her reality show is already in the works. I say have her compete with Paris Hilton and New York for Flavor Flav’s affection. Flavor of Love: Coast 2 Coast, Booooyyyyy!!!

But if she insists on continuing her career and needs names for future films, there is a place called Flathead Valley, Montana. I’m just saying.

Okay, one last one. The Matrix: ReBootied.

I’m done.