Ready?
1. What is the most ridiculous singular day on the calendar?
Ground Hog Day? While a day in which the world waits for a rodent to determine the transition of the seasons is unbelievably inane, it is not the correct answer.
April Fool's Day, you say? Hmmm...a day when everyone, children and grown-ass people, alike, try their hardest to concoct some elaborate rouse just so they can have the pleasurable experience of yelling, "April Fool's Day" to someone who should be skeptical of any out-of-the-ordinary occurence does seem like a likely answer, but...WRONG!
I'll give you one more try. Okay, here's a hint. A large percentage of the population celebrates it with as much reluctance as certain members of Congress and the Senate have about referring to "That One" as Mr. President.
Still no clue? Okay. I'll tell you. It's Valentine's Day.
Now, this isn't your typical male rant about the day of pinks and reds. I am far from a non-romantic. That's just it. There is nothing romantic about Valentine's Day.
How romantic is it for someone to show their love for you on the day that the rest of the world has decided they should? Sure. Reluctantly giving you a gift because I don't want to hear your moaning is sooooooo romantic.
True story: There's this guy. He'd been married for a few years. During those brief years, he'd been with seven or eight other women. She'd "expected" his infedility (read: she knew but never had any concrete proof.) Needless to say, their marriage was in shambles. What kept it together? He would rush in at around 11 pm with a silly plastic-wrapped gift basket containing a bear and some old chocolates, and somehow, this would build up an incredible amount of goodwill that would last until her birthday came around.
So much importance was put on one day, that this woman sold her dignity for it.
Now, I believe in love and all that shit. Flowers are great. Who doesn't like some nice chocolates? Ferrero Rocher is my favorite. And you can never go wrong with a brand new bottle of "smell good". But having one day that you're "supposed" to show your love is plain stupid.
When I was younger, I loved the thought of going to school on Valentine's Day and exchanging little Scooby-Doo cards and chalky candy hearts with messages like "you're sweet" and "be mine". It was innocent, then. But even then, if someone you weren't great friends with didn't give you a Valentine, you felt slightly hurt. You tried to recall a time when you didn't share your crayons or took too long on the swings: anything that would have caused them to pass you by.
Today, the importance of this day has increased exponentially. It's become some sort of measuring stick for lovers. If your significant other is the only one in the office who doesn't receive flowers, chances are, you won't be "receiving" anything for a long time. Who cares if she doesn't like flowers or if some of the other women sent flowers to themselves?
Tip O' The Day:
Don't try and do the truly romantic thing like write a poem to her. If your sonnet isn't accompanied by something from FTD, Godiva, and your local your jewelry store, you might as well had written last year's winning lottery numbers on that paper; it would mean the same thing to her.
We, as a society, have become so wrapped up in the external matters of life, that the truly ethereal things don't matter. If you can't touch it, taste it, smell it, or show off to your friends then it doesn't really matter. So, with that, Valentine's Day has reached the pinnacle of pertinence, especially for those whose love language is "gifts". (By the way, whose love language isn't gifts? Don't we all like gifts?) Does a spontaneous, heartfelt gesture on a random day in August truly carry less weight than a box of undesired, coconut-filled chocolates on society's pre-established day? It seems that way.
I'm sure on February 14th Facebook statuses will change to reflect fanciful notions of love. And profile pics will transform to hearts and pictures of embracing lovers or a naked nymph ready to shoot his arrow at unsuspecting hearts. But why isn't that spirit of love and romance a constant? Women: If you truly want to be treated a certain way, why accept the opposite on 364 days of the year?
Somewhere a man is being hated for his anti-love stance. Somewhere else, a woman is hating herself because all of her loneliness is compounded on this day and she equates her flowerless desk as a sign that she is truly unloved. But that shouldn't be.
If you "looove" love and think that February 14th is the most romantic day ever: good for you. Just make sure that you don't substitute one day for substance. One bouquet of roses and a seafood dinner make not a romance. A box of chocolates and a Victoria Secret's Secret gift card do not prove his love. And if he brings you a gift basket from the corner, he's probably sleeping with your sister, or brother.
Bottom line: When all else fails, buy yourself a Scooby-Doo card and candy of your choice. And love yourself!
10 comments:
It's crazy that you're relationship has to be summarized in one day, and for who? I mean let’s be honest; I love flowers as much as the next person but I love them in their natural environment. Why do I want them sitting on my desk or dining room table wrinkling up and starting to smell like unwashed parts. I don’t need to prove to anyone that I am being loved or love someone equally. I know I know... ladies if you don’t get something at work your co-workers are going to start talking, but who cares.
The best days in my relationship have been cooking dinner and dancing to Jill Scott, Anthony Hamilton. Taking car rides for no reason and picking up a cup of coffee from Dunkin Donuts. And help me understand why sex on Valentine’s Day should be any different than regular day sex. Maybe I didn’t read the handbook, or maybe your putting chocolate buttons on your belly and flowers on the bed (that get stuck in the crack of your *****) but sex should be great everyday or there is no point in having it. I know I am not going to wait for one day to have fireworks!
Anyway…those are my thoughts. And while we are discussing ridiculous days of recognition, why is it I have to get my approved 28 days to walk around and say “I’m black and I’m proud”. Sorry but this Black History thing is a joke. Just my thoughts... and that’s a topic for another day.
Wow. I don't do Valentine's Day either but dang if I celebrated I'd feel like you are not only reducing me but straight up calling me stupid. This one is kind of harsh.
I would LOVE a poem not accompanied by anything. I would prefer to get a personal poem (and thus attention) over candy or perfume or flowers.
I hope to get to Off The Trax soon!!!
Ha! I was just about to sign your page and wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day. You are sort of throwing the baby out with the bath water here. If someone is basing their relationship on one day, or on a particular gift, then they have bigger problems than they know. If someone thinks that ONE day of the year is to show appreciation to their partner, then they have a warped sense of love in the first place. Everyday is a day to celebrate life and love, but I think there is nothing wrong with making it extra special on Valentine’s Day. There is nothing wrong with flowers and candy, and there is nothing wrong with nothing if that’s what people choose to do.
The story about the woman and her husband...She’s just an idiot, and her behavior shouldn’t be blamed on Valentine’s Day, but on a total lack of good sense and self-esteem. She didn’t sell her dignity for flowers. She sold her dignity for the fantasy that those flowers allowed her to get lost in. In fact, it doesn’t sound like she had very much dignity to sell. Poor thing.
I think your argument, “But having one day that you're "supposed" to show your love is plain stupid.” is correct if it is ONE day, but I question if people who are celebrating ONE day. If you aren’t celebrating love year round, then you have missed the point all together. Thinking people should know that love isn’t based on a checklist of things you have to get. It’s not about a price tag.
Love is everyday all day, 365 (and not 364 excluding Valentine’s Day). Love CAN BE expressed by flowers, or a box of Norman Love Chocolates (which personally make me grateful that I have a tongue). Love can be expressed through her favorite perfume, or his favorite aftershave. However, grown folks should know that love can also be expressed through letters, looks, tender glances on a Sunday morning while you are sipping coffee and she is reading the paper, it’s laughing at the joke that only the two of you know about. Love is everything, which includes (for me) Valentine’s Day. --I’m in defense of us needing more LOVE and expressions of love in this world, so when it comes to Valentine’s Day...I’ll take it! I’ll take the attention, the candy, the romantic dinner, the card...and I’ll also take (and give) it tomorrow...the day after...and the day after that.
Happy Valentine's Day, Darius. I love you...so there!
Booooo. I'm so dissapointed by how unoriginal and cliche this blog is. It harps on the very things all "go against the grain" "defy conventions" type people have shelled together in one big protest. It mimics the very thing you criticize--lack of originiality. Normally you make words sing and while i could say this was deliberate in tone, i just find it more...trite.
The reasons you provide for why this holiday is the absolute dumbest are reasons enough to eliminate most holidays. Seriiously, commercialism will de- romanticize, de-value, deteriorate the heart and genuity of all days born to commemorate something important. Dr. Martin luther king jr day has become just a half-shed parade. Christmas a reason to get a gift. Mother's day, another hustling gig easily identifed at all walgreens sale sections and corners boasting the biggest plastic wrapped baskets. So let's not easily champion the anti-valentine's day move. Trust that day, soon as it become marketable enough will make you one in the majority rather than the minority. You're right, valentine's day should be about the celebration of LOVE, Not the love of gifts or showmanship of gifts, or costs of gifts but rather the gift of love. People busy themselves so much that holidays are necessary speedbumps to breathe and cherish---breathe in that which is of importance to you and cherish it. My mom, my girlfriends, my siblings all spend more minutes talking, loving, and laughing in love on valentine's day. Darker brother, your aim is misdirected. Cupid is not to blame, facebook profile pics showing off love is not sickening, gift exchanges aren't wasteful...those of who do so NOT in the name of love are culprits of making valentine's day the silliest day ever. Women and men who accept them in place of good healthy love are the culprits...but certainly not those of us who wish to bask in the good thing God wishes for all-- a beautiful, tantalizing, melodic symphony of love.
The world needs more "i got this for you cuz it reminded me of your sweetness baby," more "poems written by me for you baby," more "kisses on the neck, playful pats on the ass" kinda all year round kinda love. And people forget this, and if it valentine's day is gonna set of that reminder then daker brother, i say more peopole, including yourself, should set our alarms, circle the date and LOVE baby, LOVE so hard and so good, Cupid finds himself retired to a job well done.
L-O-L!!! Sounds as if many nerves have been rubbed the wrong way with this one :-)
Is Valentine's Day overrated? Yes! Is it a total waste? For most folks, yes! But......there are some people who weren't born with that "romantic" gene, and it gives them the opportunity to try to make up for it :-)
To me, it's not a big deal, at all. I receive flowers often, and yes, they are better in their natural environment, but there is a sweetness in the gesture of having someone take the time to select, purchase and surprise me with a colorful bouquet on a non-holiday.
I've also had poems/letters written(greatly appreciated), romantic excursions planned(greatly appreciated), personalized CDs/tapes made(greatly appreciated...except for the one where my guy-friend printed and pasted a shirtless-pic of himself onto an otherwise great compilation of songs), and many other thoughtful gifts which were all "greatly appreciated", because that person didn't have to do/give what they did :-)
@Anonymous#1-Totally agree about the sex!!! Each encounter should be maximized to make it the best that it can be(even quickies!)
Maybe my problem, or lack there of, with Valentine's Day is that, since I reached dating/relationship age, I've never spent one alone :-/
And, my birthday is 8 days before it, sooooooo....the gifting process begins early.
And, fortunately, even my least romantic counterpart showed me affection in many ways on many days without waiting for that special "Day of Love" :-)
With all that being said, to each his/her own! Appreciate the moments, with or without holidays, with or without gifts, with or without that "someone"....you only live each moment once :-)
Damn. I don't think I have ever been booed before. Anonymous #...ummm, I lost count, I appreciate your passion for a universal lovefest. I agree; the world needs more LOVE and more expressions of it. My daddy, Marvin Gaye, even made a song about it.
I never said I wasn't a little egocentric. And in my egocentricity, I feel people should be more like me. I don't need Walgreens, FTD, Whitman's, or Jared's to remind me when and how to express love. There is no St. Asshole Day that reminds us to be mean to people we don't like. Usually, if you don't like someone, you're not going to forget that. And you won't forget to show it when necessary. So, why do we need a reminder about love?
But thanks for the compliment. And thanks for the fervor with which replied. I love that. If I knew how you were, I'd bring you a gift basket.
@ Sun Shine: Damn. Was what I said really that bad? I had to check to see if talked about anybody's mama.
:-) I don't think what you said was that bad, it was just you sharing your opinion. It's your blog, right? My initial, pre-rambling comment was referring to the responses your words invoked (-:
@ Sun Shine: I knew what you were referring to. I was referring to the same thing. I love it, though.
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