The Beginning of the End

Okay. So, I am officially beginning my foray into the blogosphere. This has been about two years in the making, but due to procrastination, laziness, and a million other excuses, it was put on hold until now. So, here I am, unleashing my words to millions across the world. Or, more likely to the two or three friends who’ve been waiting impatiently for this.

When trying to decide what my first blog would be about, many ideas crossed my mind.
TOP FIVE:

1. A rant on my many less than enjoyable movie going experiences in the past year. (Though I saw this foreign film, The Secret in Their Eyes, recently, that was amazing.)


2. My desire to take Gucci Mane, Plies, and Soulja Boy, line them up on a wall, firing squad style. Then throw every single one of their CDs and mixtapes at them until they agree to neva eva eva eva make “music” again.


3. A personal campaign to take Old-School MC, Kool Moe Dee out of the ranks of history's most under appreciated rappers. Come on, I Go To Work, Knowledge Is King, The Wild Wild West…classics.


4. Lips.


5. The disappearance of respect. Example: When you were a teenager and were walking in the mall or a store with your friends, you cursed. Don’t lie, you know you did. But if someone old enough to be your mama, uncle, Sunday School teacher, or bus driver came by, you would watch what you say. Ahhh…no more. I was in the mall the other day and I could have sworn Richard Pryor and Andrew Dice Clay were having a conversation behind me. When I turned around and saw what seemed to be two fourth-graders, I gave them the look that my mama gave me when I walked in the house, sweaty from playing football in the street, but acting as if I didn’t know the street lights went off thirty minutes ago. But they just kept on spewing f-bombs like a 2 Live Crew Album. And I was offended. Wait, am I getting that old? I digress. One of the worst things about what the little bastards were saying was that the cursing was unnecessary and gratuitous. See, I am a connoisseur of cursing. A Picasso of properly placed profanity, if you will. But they were just cursing by numbers. STOP! (Okay, Okay…this wasn’t the chosen topic. Maybe I’ll get into the rest of this at another time.)
   

But I choose to introduce the world to my niece. My niece, Na’Zyia is three years old. She is the Universe’s most perfect creation. Na’Zyia is simultaneously 3-year old inquisitive toddler and 30-year old attitudinal diva. Below is a transcript of a conversation she and I had over Sunday dinner.

Na’Zyia sits with her plate in front of her. She has eaten the crescent roll, but continues to arrange and rearrange the rice, chicken, and green veggies on her plate. Uncle D looks at her.
Uncle D: Zyia, eat all of your food.
No response.
Uncle D: Zyia, come on. You gotta eat all of your food.
She continues to play.
Uncle D: If you eat all of your food, I’ll give all of the money in my pocket.
She looks up, tilts her head to the side, and reaches out her palm.
Na’Zyia: Take it out and let me see what number it is first.
My sister and I just laugh.

How did she know I only had a nickel in my pocket?

Whew! Blog number one is the books. More to come. Some poetry, short stories, I might rap or perform a magic trick. You never know.