Recently, I engaged in a few events that reminded me that I was no longer 18 years old:
1)
So, because I am such a giving person and noble friend, I agreed to take part in a charity basketball game. My team was comprised of a group of men who remember when NBA players' shorts looked like they came from Victoria Secrets. And our opponents were a bunch of 16-19 year-old boys hyped up on Red Bull and Lebron/Blake Griffin dunks.Now, while I was never NBA-caliber with my skills, I could always hold my own on the court. I won intramural championships in college, and played basketball on, at least, 80 percent of my days as an undergrad. But that was a few years ago.
Now, I make it a point to keep myself in pretty good shape. However, as the game began, I realized my "grown man" shape is quite different than "young man" in shape. The first few plays were cool. My team was scoring and defending well. We were getting back on 'D' and contesting shots. But then it happened, and it apparently happened to the entire team at the same. I suddenly became "Old Dude at The Park". You know, the guy on the neighborhood basketball court who is years past his prime and results to bully techniques- grabbing, pushing, holding; rather than using skills. On my childhood court, "Old Dude at The Park" usually played with 40 oz beer in hand or within reach. I became him. I pulled t-shirts instead of making it past half-court. Attempts at blocking a shot were replaced with forearms to the mid-section. And you could easily find me "resting" and waiting for an easy basket to come my way.
Needless to say, after a bevy of bricks and air balls, and a virtual track meet by the youngsters, we loss. And the pain of defeat was nothing compared to the pain that permeated my body when I woke up the next morning. This ain't college.
2)
A friend of mine gave me a call on a Saturday afternoon.Friend: Yo, what's up?
Me: Chillin'. You?
Friend: Nothing much. What you got going on tonight?
Me: Man, I dunno. What's up?
Friend: I have these concert tickets wanna slide?
The only concert that I was aware of was the Alicia Keys concert. So, I was a little hesitant to respond, because I couldn't see the two of us in the arena belting "This Girl is on Fire." Before I could ask whose concert it was, he allayed my concerns but sparked more confusion by saying, "It's Busta Rhymes and Kendrick Lamar." He furthered his perplexing invitation by adding that the concert was open to college students only. One of his wife's friends happens to be the event planner at the university and gave tickets to her friends. Well, after a little convincing, I decided to go. What else was I gonna do?
Fast forward to the concert - well, before the actual concert. As I walked to the venue. I found myself constantly looking away from the scantily-dressed teenage girls around me. I felt like that older guy hanging out in a club or party that was at least a decade to young for him. Wait...that's exactly what it was.
I'm old enough to remember the spry, rambunctious Busta Rhymes with dreadlocks and over-animated gestures. This Busta was a little more Barry White than the Busta I remember.
TANGENT:
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The new Busta reminds me of wrestling icon Junkyard Dog (J.Y.D.).
Busta Rhymes and his hype-man, Spliff Star did about a 40 minute set. Ten minutes of the set was yelling at the sound man to "fix the mic, Son." Ten more minutes went to general conversation between the Busta and Spliff and the audience. The rest of the time was devoted to performing parts of his hits and misses.
I think maybe the older you get the less sense Rap concerts make to you. When Busta was rapping, I had no clue what he was saying until he got to the chorus. I'm thinking there must have been a dog whistle effect going on, and rap concert lyrics become inaudible after a certain age. Because I, and everyone I was with, was clueless.
And Kendrick Lamar's performance was like listening to a speech by unmotivated motivational speaker with loud music in the background and everyone yelling the speaker's word back to him.
He didn't have live music, a booty shaking crew, or even a hype man. It was just him. All 4'7" of him.
I've enjoyed Jay-Z, Kanye, and the Roots in recent years. Jigga and Mr. West have expansive catalogues and engaging energy on stage; the Roots are a tour-de-force in a category of their own. But give me Jill Scott, Ledisi, or Kem, any day. You couldn't have gotten me sit at a Kem concert when I was in college, but I've matured.
So, what did I learn?
Most of my basketball games from now on will be with a 30+ league. Nothing makes you feel young like a mean crossover on someone who's had hip replacement surgery.
Ahhh...to be young...
Relatively speaking.
