What's Really Going On?

With Black History Month right around the corner, I felt obligated to pay homage to and examine the mighty words of my father, Marvin Gaye. Well, Nona and Frankie Gaye, if you're reading this, don't be shocked. Chances are that Marvin is not actually my father; a brotha can dream, can't he? But I do have an undeniable connection to him, his music, and his spirit. And while I can't sing, he's sorta my musical daddy. A day does not go by that I fail to listen to something Marvin created.

In Tupac's, Keep Your Head Up, he mused, "I remember Marvin Gaye used to sing to me. He had me feeling like black was the thing to be."

That's how I felt growing up. But not only black, I felt that it was cool to be dark, creative, sensitive, sensual, conscious, spiritually conflicted, and so much more. From Sexual Healing to God is Love, Pops showed the world that depth can come on many levels and from the same spirit. And if you dig deep in the archives, you will see that he could be as metaphorically nasty as 2 Live Crew and as socially conscious as BONO.

The first verse of the title song on arguably the greatest album of all-time is absolutely iconic.

Mother, mother There's too many of you crying. Brother, brother, brother There's far too many of you dying. You know we've got to find a way To bring some loving here today.

This verse, inspired by police brutality and the horrors of the Vietnam War, could have been written today as an indictment of the violence in impoverished parts of the country, the lives loss in America's overseas conflicts, or the current unrest in Egypt. The song is laden anti-war and pacifist sentiments. Paraphrasing MLK, he let us know that "Only love can conquer hate."

What's Going On has my vote to replace our national anthem. I know I relate to it a lot more than the talk of bombs bursting in air, and what the hell is a rampart? What good is it to have a black president if he can't make some impactful and soulful changes? Let's Go, Barack!

The second song on that revolutionary album, What's Happening, Brother?, is like a diary of the millions of people suffering from the current economic situation. I could hear my uncle, Kevin, bemoaning about the difficulties of finding work and how the world seems to be passing him by.

Below is a recording of live performances of those two songs. Apart from the beauty of the songs and Marvin's flawless and empassioned delivery, the thing that stood out for me was Happiness. From the smiling, excited kids in the crowd, to casual person in the street, there seemed to be a certain level of happiness. Even in times that seemed harsh and draining, you can still smile. You can have a cookout with your friends in the park and dance to your favorite song. You can walk with your new lover or old lover and feel each other's heartbeat through your hands. You can push your child to new heights on a swing and in life.

So, the next time someone asks you, "What's going on?" or "What's happening, Brother(Sister)?" smile at them. You can tell them about the trials of your day and the trevails you're sure to face, but in the midst of it all, flash that smile like my daddy.

More Than Dreams

Every year when January 15th comes around, we turn our attention towards the greatness of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Dr. King is one of most influential people in American and world history. So, why is his legacy often relegated to one day and one moment?

Everyone recognizes the power and brilliance in Dr. King's speech during the March on Washington. We know that he had dreams of "that this nation would stand up to its creed" and that his "four little children will live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."

Those will forever be some of the most important words ever spoken. However, Dr. King had so much more to say about so many different things. Let's take a look.

• "In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
  

As citizens of humanity, it is imperative that we stand up for what is inherently right and stand against what we know to be wrong. Standing by nodding or shaking your head will benefit no one, not even you.

• "Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?"

I continue to work at this one. But I do realize how important service is. It doesn't have to be something major or something public, just something significant for someone else.

• "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscious stupidity."

Damn! We see examples of this on all levels, from the blinded students in high school classrooms to those who take their ignorance to violent extremes.

• "Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men."

This was true then and is true today. And I fear that as technology reaches new heights and the depravity of man reaches new lows, there is an inevitability for some higher spiritual force to correct that imbalance.

• "It may be true that the law cannot make a man love, but it can keep him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important."

Yes. Pretty damned important, indeed.

Go ahead and live that dream that Mahalia urged Martin to speak on. But take these with you as well.

Can't Touch This!!!

This blog began as the customary look at the New Year. I started typing about resolutions and how they fill up the gyms for a few months or weeks. I typed about the concepts of new beginnings, fresh starts, and clean slates. There were examples of my never-fulfilled and near-reached resolutions. It was going to be rather interesting; maybe I'll get to it next week or month.

But a funny thing happened on the way to the end of the blog. I went to the grocery store. While I was in the produce section, I had an encounter with a random older gentleman. As I was examining bananas, he started talking to me. He began opining about the poor quality of bananas and how they tasted differently than bananas in other countries, especially in the Caribbean. His conversation was innocent enough; truth be told, I blocked out about 78 percent of what he was saying. But he found a way to gain my attention.

He touched me!

As he got deeper and deeper into his banana versus plantain dissertation, he started touching me. First, it was my elbow: a simple gesture seemingly intended to reel me into the conversation. Then, it escalated. Somehow, in some swift move resembling a teenage guy yawning and stretching to place his arm behind his "unsuspecting" date, he quickly moved his hand to my shoulder as he smiled and blabbered on about nothing at all.

Now, I'm a considerably friendly guy. I'm not the one to meet total strangers and greet them with a full-on embrace. (My boy, Marlin, might disagree.) But I'm at least cordial. But I've realized that I have a "thing" about touching. Each time this stranger touched me, my skin crawled. My natural reaction was to move my arm, as to suggest, "Dude, get your hand off of me!" But that didn't work. He felt entirely comfortable violating my personal space. So, eventually, I had to make it more obvious.

He had taken his hand off for a second, but then attempted to give it what he assumed was its rightful place. As he reached for my upper arm, it was like a scene from a movie. His hand moved in slow motion as I simultaneously leaned back and put my hands up in a position similar to one I'd learned in Tae Kwon Do class.

"Yo, I can hear you without you touching me," I stated. His face dropped and luckily, so did his hand.

"Oh," was all he said before he walked away.

He seemed so enthusiastic about the fruit conversation, but he dropped it all simply because I asked him not to touch me. Why was the touching so important?

Maybe he was trying to "kino escalate".

If you don't know, kino escalation is the art of initiating physical touch: starting with with small, innocent gestures, and steadily moving into more intimate situations.

Think:

1. a guy meets a girl in the club and starts talking to her.
2. as they are talking, he touches her elbow during the conversation.
3. as she seems more comfortable, he eases into touching the back of her arm or her shoulder.
4. and if things go as planned, he's kino escalated himself into whatever his horny little heart desires.

Well, that's all according to this guy:

His name is Mystery, and apparently he's an expert in the art of picking up women. So, was old dude in the grocery store trying to pick me up? I don't know. I was looking kinda cool that day. Maybe it was more innocent than that.

We touch people every single day. When we meet strangers, what's the first thing we do? Shake hands. Now, we have no idea what that person was doing with those hands before we saw them. Think about what you do with your hands when no one is looking. Now, would you want to someone who was just doing what you just thought about? I think not.

But touching is such a natural part of our society. In certain cultures, men greet each other with kisses on the cheeks and sometimes lips. In other cultures, individuality and independence is more highly regarded, and personal space is placed at a premium.

A touch can mean so much, yet so many different things. The gentle touch of a mother's hand across the forehead or cheek of her child is entirely different than the sensual touch of a lover massaging work-weary muscles. A simple hand on the shoulder of a friend during a moment of sorrow can go as far as a father's swift hand of correction placed on the backside of a misguided child.

It's hard for me to imagine a life devoid of another's touch. No more of my niece's kisses to the cheek or slaps to the cheek that get increasingly harder. No more embracing my grandmother as if she was my child. No more of the...ummm..."touches" that the adult me has come to greatly appreciate.

However, I can go without the waiter touching my shoulder as he places the bill on the table. I don't need the dude in the gym to shake my hand, "dap" me up, fist bump me, or give me a half-hug every time he sees me. The minister in church slapping "the claw" on my forehead as he prays for me seems a little unnecessary. And those strangers who want to reach out and put their hands in my hair...back the hell up!

Maybe my feeling towards touching is some metaphor for my fear of intimacy. Maybe me not wanting people touching me is code for me not wanting anyone to get cclose to me, emotionally. Or, maybe I just don't people's filthy hands on me.

Somehow, though, touching each other seems to be justified. I guess touching is our link to humanity. When we touch or are touched, we know we're alive. It gives us a connectivity that our other senses can't. Maybe one day I'll let down my guard and allow people into that invisible space that I hold dear. But until then, unless I know you and invite you, then take this as a friendly request.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otCpCn0l4Wo